Courtesy of Ride Fast and Shoot Straight . Per the rules: Bolded if I’ve done it.
Guess I’m a pretty mellow biker compared to Fodder.
1. Ridden on a motorcycle?
2. Driven a motorcycle?
3. Know any one who rides?
4. Driven a motorcycle with four or more other riders onboard?
5. Done a wheelie on motorcycle?
6. Ridden a motorcycle facing backwards?
7. Ridden a motorcycle facing backwards and the sumobitch pulls a wheelie?
8. Driven a motorcycle up some stairs?
9. Killed the engine three-quarters of the way up and had to back all the way down?
10. Ever lane split? (not “just cause” but to get out of a sticky situation)
11. Ever lane split using the center line between opposing lanes?(Same as #10)
12. Ridden nearly seven miles without touching the handlebars, just to see if you could do it?
13. Jumped a bike (got air)?
14. Got air while driving on streets?(Not on purpose)
15. While jumping a motorcycle, cleared the cross street in the air?
16. Crashed a motorcycle?(Dirt Bikes…that’s what they’re for)
17. Fallen over because you forgot to put your foot down at a stop light?
18. Woke up and found your bike parked in your bedroom?
19. Woke up and found your bike parked in your bedroom and it’s idling?
20. Rabbit from a LEO on a motorcycle?
21. Rabbit from a LEO on a motorcycle and got away?
22. Fired any firearm while driving a motorcycle?
23. Driven a motorcycle through the lobby of an office building?
24. Woke up, didn’t know whose living room your in, but your bike is parked there in the living room?
25. Had sex on a motorcycle?
26. Done 100 MPH on a motorcycle?
27. Exceeded 120 MPH?
28. How about 140 MPH?
29. 150 MPH?
30. Ever take a turn way too fast and ended up in the oncoming lane?
31. Gotten a traffic ticket?
32. Hit and killed an animal while driving a motorcycle?
33. Hit and killed an animal while riding as a passenger?
34. Layed a bike down and didn’t get hurt?(dirt bikes again)
35. Rebuilt a motorcycle?
36. Have you ever done a stoppie on a bike (hit the front brake so hard the rear end came off the ground)?
37. Have you ever done a wheelie and looped it (all the way over and crashed)?
38. Ever hit a tree on a motorcycle?
39. How about a car?
40. Ever hit a chain (rope, cable, whatever) strung across the road that rode up and over the bars and hit you in the face?
41. Have you had an insect hit you in the eye while riding?
42. Ever have an insect get in your mouth?
43. Did you swallow it?(at 80mph you don’t have much choice)
44. Have you ever experienced hypothermia while riding?
45. Have you ever fallen off a motorcycle as a passenger?
46. Did you ever drop a bike and get burned by the exhaust pipe?
47. Same scenario as No. 46, and chewed on by the rear wheel?
48. Crash into water, damn near drown because your pinned under the bike?
49. Have you dragged hardware through a turn?(almost every day)
50. Ever done a wheelie at highway speeds?
51. Ever done a wheelie somewhere in triple digits?
52. Have you started your motorcycle engine to scare off a bear?
53. Found yourself on street so steep you couldn’t get up it because the bike would wheelie?
54. Have your high voltage ignition system malfunction and zap you with over 50,000 volts high current?
55. Rode in a group of twenty or more bikes?
56. Had your whole group pulled over for speeding and compared tickets to see who won?
57. Crashed going downhill because it was so steep you endo’d (end over end).
58. Rode to a party, discovered your the only one on a Jap bike and everyone else came on a Harley?(not really a party but close enough)
59. Same scenario as No. 58, and they’re a gang (motorcycle club)?
60. Same scenario as No. 59, and you stayed anyway?
61. Ever been thrown out, or not allowed in, because you ride?(Asked to come in the back and sit in a separate room)
62. Driven through a city area with a rifle slug on your back?(strapped across the luggage rack)
63. Hit the throttle lock, sit on the backseat position and pretend the driver fell off as you cruise through town (waving and screaming)?(No but that’s a good one…have to try that sometime)
64. Ever get pulled over by a cop who so admired your sled they just wanted to check it out and chat?
65. Routinely driven your child(ren) to school on a bike?
66. Routinely drove yourself to grade school on a motorcycle?
67. Crashed and gotten seriously hurt?
68. Been shot while driving a motorcycle?
69. Delivered papers on your paper route riding a lawnmower engine powered mini-bike?
70. Absolutely scared the bajeebees out of your girlfriend, several times, and she married you anyway?(Now she drives her own bike…and sometimes scares the bajeebees out of me)
Added by me:
71: Done a Wheelie on an 800+ pound bike?
72: Bored a moped out to 75cc and got it up to 60mph?
73: Done all your own maintenance on every bike you’ve ever owned including a carb synch on a bike with 6 carbs?
74: Modified an aftermarket automotive cruise control to work on your bike for those long highway trips?
75: Put more miles on your bike in one year than you put on your car in 5?
Last but not least, Notable helmet stickers:
“Real Bikers are a rare breed, Harley riders are a dime a dozen”
“$30,000 and 30 miles does not make you a biker”
“Silly Yuppie, trailers are for boats”