Letter to the Governator

From Seth…a friend of a friend who currently resides in the PRC…via e-mail:

Dear Governor Schwarznegger:

When I read that you plan to shut police and fire stations and release tens of thousands of criminals onto the streets to balance the state’s budget, I realized that you may be out of touch with how middle class folks manage when their expenses exceed their income.

To mitigate the effects of this recession which has hit my family hard, we have reduced or eliminated all non-essential items from our budget – even worthy items. Eliminating non-essential items like cable TV and prime rib has allowed us to have money for essential items like electricity (for broadcast TV) and chicken.

Now, to save the state the cost of a budget expert, I have made a list of all non-essential state offices, departments, commissions and boards whose budgets can be reduced or entirely eliminated without harming essential state services like police, fire fighters, and prison guards. There’s no need to pay me yet for this work, since I am sending you a list of only the 106 departments from the letters “A” through “I”. When I complete my work, you can pay me. But in the meantime, you can terminate these non-essential offices, departments, commissions, and boards.

The list is below.

Sincerely,

Bcc: Email list

State Departments, Commissions, and Departments That Can Be Closed Before Fire and Police Departments Letters A through I (because they’re useless, trendy, or duplicate federal services).

1. Access for Infants and Mothers
2. Acupuncture Board
3. African American Museum
4. California Commission on Aging
5. Department of Aging
6. Agriculture and Environmental Stewardship, Office of
7. Agriculture, Department of Food and
8. AIDS, Office of
9. Alcoholism and Drug Programs, Department of
10. Alternative Energy and Advanced Transportation Financing Authority
11. Analytical Chemistry, Center for
12. Apprenticeship Council
13. Apprenticeship Standards, Division of
14. Arbitration Certification Program
15. Arts Council
16. Asian Pacific Islander Legislative Caucus
17. Assembly Democratic Caucus
18. Assembly Republican Caucus
19. Athletic Commission
20. Barbering and Cosmetology, Board of
21. Behavioral Sciences, Board of
22. Binational Border Health, California Office of
23. Biodiversity Council
24. Biogeographic Data Branch
25. Blind, Office of Services to the
26. Braille and Talking Book Library
27. Building Standards Commission
28. Business, Transportation and Housing Agency
29. California Exposition and State Fair
30. California Broad band Initiative
31. California Commission for Jobs and Economic Growth
32. California Council for the Humanities
33. California Cultural and Historical Endowment
34. California Digital Library
35. California Institute for Regenerative Medicine
36. California Museum for History, Women, and the Arts
37. California Science Center
38. California Association of Counties
39. California State Fair
40. California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids (CWORKs)
41. California Volunteers
42. CalJOBS
43. Cal-Learn Program (Department of Social Services)
44. CalOHI (California Office of HIPAA Implementation)
45. CalVet Home Loan Program
46. Career Resource Network
47. Cemetery and Funeral Bureau
48. Central Valley Flood Protection Board
49. CERES – California Environmental Resources Evaluation System
50. Child Abuse Prevention, Office of
51. Children & Families Commission
52. Children and Family Services, Division
53. Children’s Trust Fund, California State
54. Climate Change Portal (Energy Commission)
55. Community Services and Development, Department of
56. Cosmetology, Board of Barbering and
57. Crime and Viol ence Prevention Center
58. Cyber Safety for Children
59. Data Quest (Department of Education)
60. Deaf Access, Office of
61. Debt and Investment Advisory Commission
62. Delta Vision
63. Dental Auxiliaries, Committee on
64. Dental Board of California
65. Denti-Cal
66. Developmental Disabilities, State Council on
67. Developmental Services, Department of
68. Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program
69. Education, Department of
70. Education, Office of the Secretary for
71. Education, State Board of
72. Educational Facilities Authority
73. Electronic and Appliance Repair, Bureau of
74. Employment Development Department
75. Employment Training Panel
76. Energy Commission
77. Environmental Health Hazard Assessment, Office of
78. Environmental Protection Agency (Cal-EPA)
79. eSservices Office
80. Fair Employment and Housing Commission
81. Fair Employment and Housing, Department of
82. Fair Political Practices Commission
83. Film Commission
84. Geographic Information Systems (GIS) California
85. Geologists and Geophysicists, California Board for
86. Governor’s Committee for E mployment of Disabled Persons
87. Governor’s Mentoring Partnership
88. Guide Dogs for the Blind, Board of
89. Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act Implementation, California Office of
90. Healthy Families Program
91. Hearing Aid Dispensers Bureau
92. High Speed Rail Authority
93. HIPAA Implementation, California Office of
94. Home Furnishings and Thermal Insulation, Bureau of
95. Horse Racing Board
96. Housing Financing Agency
97. Independent Living Council, State
98. Indoor Air Quality Program
99. Industrial Relations, Department of
100. Infants and Mothers, Access for
101. Information Center for the Environment
102. Information Security and Privacy, Office of
103. Infrastructure and Economic Development Bank (I-Bank)
104. Institute for Education Reform
105. Integrated Waste Management Board
106. Interagency Ecological Program

3 thoughts on “Letter to the Governator

  1. But Captain it will be chaos:
    56. Cosmetology, Board of Barbering and
    Hair cutters gone wild. What would they do? Thanks for sharing the letter, I wish most gov “leaders” could see the waste that we do.

    Jason
    III

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